Creative writing is the voice of the soul, the music of imagination, and the dance of words on the page.
The fantastic story by Ms. Sejal Borkar is amazing enough to melt our judges’ hearts and deserves the 7th Place in Anitale 2023 competition!
I Am Mother
It has been a long day, it’s time I found comfort in the comic store close to my house. Everytime my job stresses me out, I come here. I am someone who looks just like how an office lady would look like physically and mentally too, let me state that most of them are mentally depressed. I don’t even understand the point of going on anymore but I don’t wanna give up on the only person who supports me. My mother. But not every person in the world is my mother. I wish I could support myself but then again… I am not my mother.
The comic store is a pretty small place with collections of imported comics and nobody really comes here except me and few other nerds. There’s a ‘no smoking’ sign on the wall but the store owner herself doesn’t follow it.
I reach the store and look for new editions of manga and shounen comics but I find something which makes me chuckle.
“what is this? who even makes shit like this?” I ask.
A lady who looks like she’s in her 30’s wearing casual wear and cigar pipe in her hand – likes to be called “the dealer” a.k.a shop owner approaches me.
“Newest edition, my girl. Isekai genre is going wild right now” dealer says.
“But- who would want to be reincarnated as a freakin’ laddle? That makes no sense.”
“Not everything has to. You won’t understand the worth of someone’s role until you lose them” she continues after a pause “No. I’m kidding I have no idea what the author was high on when he made this.”
I chuckle “Yeah, you aren’t the kind of person who’d say deep stuff, I know. But you know what I’ll buy this and I’m pretty sure people who bought this book were just as curious as me.”
Dealer with a smug face. “I knew I would sell atleast one copy of this and you’d buy it”
I leave the place with the book and start walking home but on the way my phone rings, it’s Mr. Morison, my client.
“Hello Miss Aniya. I suppose you know why I’m calling you.” He speaks in a monotonous voice.
“Oh! Mr. Morison.. I was just heading home.. and I know why you’re calling me.”
“Miss Aniya Stewart, you still haven’t submitted the artwork I asked you to make for
me, how long do I need to wait until you give me a date? You know this might be the last chance for you to get a job in my company.”
I try to avoid sounding nervous.
“I’ll get it done by tomorrow sir.. I promise I’ll do it.”
He sighs “I hope you understand the urgency of this since I’m willing to pay lot for this. It’ll be better if you submit it sooner, hope to see it soon.”
“I.. I understand.” I nod lightly.
-hangs up-
I continue walking after he reminds me how much I’m bound to working for someone tirelessly. First my corporate job then my side hustle as an artist which was my passion but now it seems like it’s getting harder to manage both.
I finally reach my apartment.
I unlock the door and get in “I’m home..”
My mother, Maya Stewart, the lady who sacrificed so much for me comes to me with a laddle in her hand.
“How was your day? did your boss bother you again? you look tired.” she askes me with a worried look.
“It- was fine” I quickly try to avoid the topic – “I’m hungry is the soup ready? you’re holding a laddle and it smells like mushroom soup.”
She looks at me for a while then continues “yes, yes I made you some, come have it”
I eat the soup and go to work on Mr. Morison’s commission.
My mother walks in
“I think I should be able to finish it by tomorrow.. what do you think, mom? you’re an artist yourself you should be able to tell if there’s anything wrong with it”
she analyses it “don’t you think the girl’s right eye should be a little bigger?”
“Hmm.. now that you mention it, yeah it should be.” I continue being amazed “I don’t know when I’ll be as good as you, you really should open your own workshop.”
She chuckles “Oh c’mon.. you know I’m too old for that, I just wanna support you on your journey and I’m so glad you like to draw as much as I do. If everything goes well you can just quit your job and continue this”
Sigh.. “Mom, you know I can’t do that.. I really got lucky with this job and I barely earn anything with art so if I quit I practically won’t be earning anything and I can’t see you work in that beauty parlour anymore, I know how painful and annoying it is..”
She looks at me with concern in her eyes and grabs my shoulder –
“I want you to be able to continue your passion not work like some zombie, don’t worry about money, the parlour can be tiring.. yes… but you must know it helped me raise you so we’ll manage somehow and once you have a family of your own I’ll be nothing but happy for you. Also there’s no need to send me money, I can handle myself just fine.”
she pauses for a while “I really want you to be fine.”
“….. Thanks.. mom (I really don’t deserve her…)”
next day
It’s 5 am and I finally finish the commission and mail it to Mr. Morison’s e-mail.
“Now I just have to wait till he sees this and what he thinks of it, well I better get ready for my job”
It’s 8 am, I’m ready and about to leave.
“Mom, I’ll get going” “Aniya!” she exclaims. “yeah?”
-skip to office-
“Everything is gonna be okay.” (what did mom mean when she said this..?)
“It’s finally break time.. this job is hella tiring…”
A well dressed man with a good looking face, soothing voice and someone who could be considered the perfect guy in many standards approaches me with his lunch box.
“you looked like you were in the zone today Aniya” he says with a cheerful tone.
I get a notification on my phone, it’s from Mr. Morison. It seems like he liked the artwork and wants to meet me at his office!!
“Jay!! This! is it! I get my life back on track. Help my mom shut down the parlour for good because Mr. Morison’s commission should be able to help me land a job in his company, he pays well too and seems like now he’s officially asking me to join his company, I can’t wait to get outta here!
He frawns “and leave me here alone? you sure are in a hurry to get outta here.”
he opens his lunch box and gives me one of his chicken nugget.
“I… didn’t mean it that way!! I just wanted to continue my passion and -“
he laughs loudly “Aniya! I was just messing with you, you should really go for it. Although, I hope I can see you on weekends or whenever you’re free maybe?”
(what is this? am I blushing?)
“Oh. um… yeah! sure, I would love to, you’ve always been good to me ever since I got here, I would love to repay your kindness, I’ll treat you”
“Sweet! can’t wait” he smiles gently as my heart beats a little faster.
It’s finally time to go home, but for me it was time to meet Mr. Morison.
Jay grabs my hand “Aniya! I’ll drop you to the company”
“what? seriously? you will? thanks a lot!!” (I’m so happy!!!)
We reach the company, Jay and I get outta the car. “Aniya! good luck, I’ll be waiting for you here.”
“This might take a while though..”
“it’s really fine! this is the least I could do for you, it was your last day with us afterall.. well, professionally speaking..”
“Haha yeah, professionally.”
I happily thank him and leave.
I reach at Mr. Morison’s company reception.
“Um, I’m Aniya Stewart and have an appointment with Mr. Morison?”
The receptionist asks “Please excuse me ma’am but can you tell us the full name of the person you have an appointment with?”
“Um.. Mr.. Hold on.” I run my hand through my purse and take out the card he gave me when we first met “It says Mr. Alex Morison.”
The receptionist confused “I’m sorry ma’am but can I examine the business card?”
I give it to her “yeah, sure!”
“I think there’s been a misunderstanding, Mr. Alex Morison doesn’t work here.” she explains that the business card is fake.
“WAIT WHAT…I don’t understand he just sent me a mail saying that he liked the artwork I did and he’ll pay for it in his office and now you’re telling me he doesn’t exist??”
“calm down ma’am, but that’s the truth you’ve been most possibly scammed, I would recommend you to take this to the police if you have lost something”
“I… what..” I exclaim.
I leave the building and come back to Jay I try calling Mr. Morison several times but it doesn’t connect.
“I can’t believe this.. That man…” “What happened?” Jay asks.
“Mr. Morison doesn’t exist…”
“Oh. Didn’t see that coming..” Jay murmurs.
-phone rings-
picks up in an instant – “Hello? Mr-“
“Miss Aniya, this is your boss speaking, I got the news that you just were looking for a new job. Since that is the case, you no longer have to work with us anymore, please take all your things and empty the booth as soon as possible.”
“Huh??? I haven’t made an official announcement and I haven’t even.. wait… how did you?… I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I panic.
“Miss Aniya, I have proof and they’re pictures of you entering company A’s building and voice recordings of you actually speaking about leaving the company, I do not want to discuss about this any further, I expect your things to be gone by tomorrow.”
-hangs up-
“Are you okay?” Jay asks. “did you do it..?” I ask Jay. “what are you saying?”
“I’m asking did you do it, Jay?
His concerned expression quickly changes to disgust.
“Uggh.. I didn’t expect the boss to check his messages this fast but oh well..”
“why…?” I start crying.
“I hate to see you being the center of attention all the time, I was the guy everybody relied on before you joined, you’re getting bonuses while I overwork and get nothing? that’s not fair now is it? but now that Mr. Morison doesn’t exist I think your life is unfairer than mine but since my job here is done, I should grab myself something to eat, you really were very easy to trick, you let me come with you and all I had to do was click pictures of you entering the building. Now then, I shall see you soon if we cross paths but I really don’t want it to”
Jay leaves with his car.
My world just shattered in front of my eyes, all I wanted to do was cry on my mother’s lap but I couldn’t even do that.
I go home with the most depressed look on my face but stop right before opening the door and decide to go to roof instead.
I stand on the very edge of the roof and think to myself.
“life sucks.”
I get back to my room and explain everything to mom and she reassures me that she will work in the parlour everyday until I get a job so she doesn’t have to worry about money and we can survive on life savings too.
It just doesn’t seem right. Everyday I go to the roof and sit on the edge thinking why did all that happen to me. And this has been going on for months now.
“This is my 114th time coming up here, my mother doesn’t know that I come here everyday just to relax and take my mind off of things I worry about, it’s peaceful here. Have I ever thought of jumping off? it could potentially kill me and those things do cross my mind but I don’t think I have the guts to do it.. All I wanted to do was shut down my mother’s parlour but instead she’d have to work two times more now that I lost my job. What good of a daughter am I if I free load outta her? This is madness, I don’t have the will to go on anymore…”
Running footsteps get louder and someone slams the roof door open.
“ANIYA!!!”
“Mom???”
“Don’t do this. You don’t wanna do this!” she yells her lungs out
“Weren’t you at work? How did you even know I’m…” I stand there confused.
Looking at her face all I feel is sadness and guilt.
“I don’t know what to do..” I start crying.
“Listen to me, You really don’t understand. Whatever I’m doing.. I’m doing it for you, so you don’t have to worry about me because I am doing what I love to do and that is taking care of you…”
“This isn’t what I wanted, mom I wanted you to rely on me not do the opposite.”
“I do rely on you Aniya. You don’t understand that I rely on your well-being, that is what keeps me going, if you do this I won’t have the purpose to live either. Everything is gonna be okay. Just get down RIGHT NOW.”
“I’m not gonna jump off mom.. but you don’t understand my situation. You think it’s easy for me to live with guilt like this?”
“I know you won’t but we can discuss this inside. Right now, I need you to be very careful while you step down, do you understand?” she says anxiously.
“I am fine!!! I’ve been here several times… I’ll get dow-” slips “huh?”
“ANIYA!!!!!”
Regret crosses through my mind while I’m falling.
“Is this what I wanted…” Right now everything feels slow yet everything ended too fast.
I fall to death.
Maya Stewart falls on her knees right there on the roof. Her gaze is filled with nothing but emptiness as she lets out a long sigh.
tak
tak
tak
tak
Suddenly a familiar face walks in through the door.
“So Mrs. Maya, or should I say Miss Aniya 75 do you want to restart?” asks the person standing behind.
“you really know when to pop up. Dealer.”
“well.. what can I say? this hasn’t been a very pleasant journey for me either, as your mother’s soul dealer, It’s my job to take care of her wishes until you give up.” Says Dealer.
“You know I will not give up. I already know this version of me regrets falling off that edge. I want to go back and meet my mother. And I am pretty sure she also wants the same.”
“So Aniya Stewart 75, do you wish to give yourself a.k.a Aniya Stewart 76 a try to see if she will succeed in not killing her next self? or do you want me to send you and your mother’s soul to the void?” Asks the Dealer while lighting the cigar pipe.
“I would like you to give Aniya Stewart 76 a try” Says Aniya 75. (a.k.a Maya Stewart) “I am not giving up on my mother.”
I’m sure you must be confused with what’s going on. So I’ll take you back to the day it started.
rewind to the very Beginning
Let me explain this one more time.
I am Aniya Stewart (Aniya Stewart 1). I’m 26 years old and my relationship with my mother Maya Stewart isn’t really that well. She works hard but just overworks herself ever since dad passed away. She hasn’t been home much but when she is she tries make me feel better and act like my mother while being absent most of the time. She has no clue what goes on in my life because she barely gets time for me, I cannot blame her because she’s working for our sake but she cannot blame me either for feeling this way. Who are we to blame? I do not know. Our father who left us? I don’t even remember him.
I did a lot of things as a teenager, my rebellious phase was at peek, I didn’t listen to my mother, I partied, had relationships, stole things etc but once I grew up and started earning and I realised how hard it is to maintain life and that my friends aren’t people who would stick around for me in the end but the only person who did was my mother and my respect for her grew immensely, I wanted to repay her kindness by all means. Give time to her equally since she’s old now so, I asked her to closed her shop and retired for good because I would take care of her. Until that one major incident happened. For me it was my boss blaming me for a stupid error he made and firing me but for Aniya 76 it was Jay and Morison. They might seem like not that much of a big deal but they are the events in our life which took a huge wrong turn.
This major life event certainly happens and you cannot change it. It’s written in my life scroll. Atleast that’s what the Dealer calls it. The Dealer has been in my life since the very beginning, she is like a gaurdian but I don’t think she’s our ally either. When the major life event happened everything went downhill, my mother had to reopen her parlour and her health deteriorated. I felt worse and didn’t know what to do. I wanted to go on but I failed…. And killed myself. You can guess what happened next. My mother also killed herself. And that’s when my mother’s soul was offered a deal by the Dealer.
She can remain stuck in the void until her daughter gets a job which can potentially avoid her death or she can just give up and let the dealer take both our souls to the void. Of course my mother chose the first option. There were conditions though and they were
1.While she’s stuck in the void, my soul (her daughter) will replace her soul with mine, so I Aniya Stewart became my own mother.
2.If Aniya Stewart fails to save her daughter she will be given a choice, the same choice my mother got.
3.The future (major events) cannot be directly said to the daughter by the mother. The mother can warn the child in the form of mother’s worries. Although every major event is different the outcome will be the same unless it’s prevented.
4.If Aniya 1 fails then Aniya 2 will take the mother’s role and restart from the day Aniya 3 was born. Similarly if Aniya 2 fails then Aniya 3 will take the mother’s role and so on until any of the Aniya’s version gives up.
5.Any major events unrelated the mother and daughter are not to be prevented. Any deaths other than Aniya’s is not to be prevented.
These were the conditions given by the Dealer.
So far 75 Aniya’s have tried to avoid this outcome and none of them have succeeded. If one does succeed The life of Aniya 1 will finally move on from the loop and Dealer will spare her life and disappear.
Right now I’m in the space where I’m detached from my own body and the Dealer is ready to begin the soul replacement.
“Alright Aniya, I’m gonna put your soul into your mother’s body, back when you are about to be born, remember to be careful with the Aniya 2, the baby version of you after you give birth, you don’t wanna mess that up.” says the dealer
“wait!! I’m giving birth…??? WHAT! I don’t know anything about parenting!!!” I exclaim.
“Neither did your mother until she became your mother, you’ll figure it out. Hope you remember the rules. See ya” Dealer waves at me.
Dealer claps once and everything goes dark.
I slowly open my eyes.
beep beep
“argh.. where am I? AAAAAAAAA WHAT IS THIS PAIN!!!!” I’m dizzy… and in extreme pain.
I notice that I’m in my mother’s body and admitted in the hospital.
“You’re finally up!” a person with familiar face speaks to me with a worried expression.
I see several doctors preparing themselves.
“what.. who. Dad..?” I’m shocked.
“Dad? haha yeah you’re right, I’ll be a dad soon, I’m with you alright Maya? You’re gonna be okay!”
“You’re here… I can’t believe this..” I start crying.
I can’t stop crying, due to happiness or pain or maybe both.
“Ofcourse I’m here? you’re my responsibility.” he holds my hands tightly.
After the endless painful screaming, screeching and suffering I finally hear a baby crying. Can’t believe I gave birth to myself. This is so unreal. My father is also overwhelmed with joy and happiness.
I don’t feel like seeing the baby after it gave me so much pain but when I see her, I suddenly get the urge of holding her in my arms.
“Aniya.” Says dad “We are naming her Aniya.” (I hate that name. but…)
“why…Aniya?” I ask with a tired voice.
“Because she is favoured by the Gods.” Dad says.
“You both mean everything to me. Maya, I promise I’ll do everything to take care of you and Aniya. I have enough saved up for taking care of her for a few years. So I don’t need to leave you to go for job either. A guy cannot get maternity leave so I quit my job after saving enough money. I will not let you take care of her alone, we are doing this together. Once we are in the need of money, I’ll start looking for a job way sooner.” He explains how he plans on taking care of us.
Little does he know. He won’t be able to do anything like that but hearing him say such kind words to me, my mother really makes me happy. “Thank you Dad.” I thank him with the bottom of my heart. “Yep!! I’m a Dad!! and I’m the happiest man in the world.”
After a few days, the inevitable happens. My Dad passes away in a car crash. But I’m just glad that I could spend my days with him and thanks to him I do not need to earn for a few years, but I would need to open the parlour sooner or later. Did I try to prevent my father’s death? I didn’t but I did think about it. I later remembered the rules that I’m not supposed to prevent it. One thing I can say for sure is. He would make a great father. No. He “is” A great father.
time skip
It’s Aniya’s 3rd Birthday, I don’t even understand how time passed by that fast. It was rough but I managed to take care of a baby which I never thought I would be able to do. Only 1 more year until I open the parlour, maybe I should start taking classes. I could look for other jobs but I wanna take my mother’s steps and understand her past struggles but this time I will make sure to take atleast a few holidays to spend time with my daughter which my mother wasn’t able to do. It’s funny how I called my
baby self as my own daughter because right now to me she is someone that I gave birth to. Maybe my motherly instincts just make me love her as a mother.. Is this a form of self-love? I don’t know.
I also remember my mom telling me that she gifted me a baby shark toy when I was 3. And I loved that toy until I was atleast 10. This is a major life event that I cannot skip.
“Here you go Aniya! This is for you! Happy birthday my sweet little girl” I give the toy to her.
“YAAAYY baby shark, I love him” Aniya hugs the toy. “Aniya what would you like to name him?”
I remember my mom telling me that I was the one who named him. If I remember correctly it was…
“Sammy!” Sammy.
It’s about time she started going to preschool. Leaving her there makes me sad but I need to do it. Aniya always starts crying when I say goodbye to her. I don’t have memories of going to preschool but I just realised that my mom has them. I really made a mistake when I said she doesn’t know me well. She exactly knows what I liked and disliked.
“Be a good girl and don’t be mean to others Aniya.” I wave at her. “Mommy don’t leave me!!” She starts crying.
I will miss her but I need to take my beautician classes. The preschool teacher also told me that she has taken a liking to drawing. And this is when my mom helped me hone my skills.
Today is Aniya’s 10th birthday she’s a 4th grader now. And if I remembr it correctly I invited my very first best friend to my house to celebrate it and a fight broke out which also ended our friendship…
“I will never talk to her again!” Aniya cries.
“there there, everything will be alright.” I console her.
As years pass by Aniya enters her rebellious teenager phase, she doesn’t listen to me much but I try to give her some space because I knew I needed it. She will face some troubles in school but I know she’ll be fine. I wanted to help her out, tell her that it is perfectly normal but at this age anything I say will just be backfired.
knock knock bang bang
I open the door. “what happened? why are you banging this loudly?”
Aniya runs to her room and locks herself.
Oh don’t tell me today is the the day Jake dumped me..
I gently knock her door “Aniya, you can always talk to me okay? I’m always here for you.” (she never talked about it)
Today is the day Aniya graduates, can’t believe she finally made it out of school, I’m so happy for her.
“Mom! It’s finally over!! Rebecca! Ethan! I’m gonna miss you guys so much!” she jumps with joy and hugs her friends.
“Congratulations my sweet girl, I’ll make mushroom soup today to celebrate your graduation, how about that?” I ask.
“Sweet!! can’t wait!” She smiles.
Today is Aniya’s first day at Job. She’s really excited and ready to start earning for herself. But for me. It’s time I start taking this soul replacement seriously. Any moment can be a trigger for her death. I’m extra careful with her because I still haven’t forgetten my main motive. To save my mother and myself. My age is also bothering me with work and it’s about time she would ask me to shut down the parlour.
Months pass by and I shut down my parlour just like she asks me to. But my job now is to prevent whatever will trigger her boss to fire her. I keep a close eye on her. Check her timing, follow her until she makes it to her job, spy on her. I even paid one of the employees there to let me know what she does in the office everyday. Yes. I spy on her but this is my only chance and I cannot mess it up. So far everything seems normal.
knock knock knock
I open the door.
“Dealer??” I’m surprised. “What are you doing here? don’t tell me!!”
“oh nothing, just came here to give this comic book that your daughter was supposed to buy today. But you sure are keeping a close eye on your daughter. Think you’ll succeed?”
“I have to succeed. Wait. What do you mean by “supposed to buy today”. where is she?” I ask worriedly.
“Hm I wonder where..” she lights her cigar.
phone rings
I pick up “Hello?”
“Mrs. Stewart, I’m your daughter’s officemate and your daughter is…”
I rush to my see my daughter.
“ANIYA!” I see her walking with her stuff on the other side of the road and immediately call her phone.
she picks it up “MOM?? what are you..?” “Aniya why don’t we go home together?”
“I just. ” She starts crying.
“I know! it’s okay! I’m here for you, just come to me please. Your boss was a piece of shit, you always did your best but some people just don’t know how to appreciate it. You always helped your co-workers with printing, carrying stuff and you know what that means? everybody loves you and if you’re boss failed to see that then screw him but hey! If you cannot find a job we can just renovate the parlour into an art workshop.”
“I don’t know how you know everything about my life.. how do you just know about things going on you tell them as if you already saw it coming or you were actually there when it happened.. you’re really amazing…” she says that while wiping her tears.
“I’m coming to you mom, I can’t wait to start drawing with you” she smiles with teary eyes.
“I know, can’t wait!” I chuckle.
she halfway crosses the road “One last thing mom”
“Yeah?” I smile and ask.
“I-” A van with over 60 kmph strikes her and drives off.
With my eyes and body trembling I stand there unable to digest what just happened.
tak
tak
tak
A lady walks to me from behind. And I hear her light a cigar “So Miss Aniya, Do you want to restart?”
Written By,
SEJAL BORKAR
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